How it all began

Monday, December 26, 2005

ahhh so sleeepy

ahhh im soooo sleepy and soooooooo tired. should i go for her?

Posted by drama at 7:28 AM

So Proud

So this is going to sound odd, but I feel like telling the story anyway, so here it goes:

This morning at about 4 a.m., I woke up by ewok's footsteps in the room. I opened my eyes and saw him standing by my side of the bed wagging his tail. He didn't make a sound (Ewok is generally a quiet dog). I thought to myself, he is either being a brat and trying to get attention from us or that he really needs to go potty.

So I got up quickly, and as we are walking to the front door, he was so happy that he started to hop around it almost looked like he was dancing. As soon as I opened the door he ran and peed for the longest time lol and he managed to poop immediately after that.

This may sound weird, but I was soooo proud of him.. and me! That he was communicating his needs to me and I understood his subtle cue even tho the last time he needed to potty in the middle of the night was well over 3 years ago when he was a tiny pup.

Anyhow, I know it's weird, but it made me happy haha

Time Out

I've been going to hot yoga classes on average about 5x a week this entire month. And after Monday night's class, I've decided to take a week long break. It's not because I'm sick and tired of going to yoga. It's the opposite, I love it so much that I ALWAYS  want to go and it's hurting my knees and lower back :(

I did a lot of research on it and if it's done right, yoga should not cause any pain. So now I will definitely be more aware of my limits and not over exert myself. After all, my body is the only thing that I will carry with me from the moment I was born till my last breath.

It's really been a wonderful month. Yoga really clears my mind. I'm much happier and for that 90 minute, all my focus is on how to position my body. You guys should definitely give yoga a try :) You'd be surprised how magical it is.

Hot Yoga

I tried hot yoga for the first time last night at a studio near our home. I was a bit nervous at first, since I'm so out of shape. But after the 90 minute class in a 105F room... I loved it! So quickly, I went ahead and purchased a few items for my new found hobby :)

There are so many different kinds of yoga mats out there, after reading a bunch of reviews, I decided to purchase Jade Harmony Professional Yoga Mat because it's considered to be the best eco-friendly mat:

Since I plan on going straight to the studio after work, I wanted a gym bag that would hold my yoga mat and at the same time, looks like a regular bag I can carry to work. Equinox downstairs is having a sale today, although most of their merchandises are ridiculously overpriced, but with their 30% sale going on...I purchased this Nike Monika Standard Club Bag... it can hold a yoga mat via straps...

As for yoga clothes.. I absolutely love everything at lululemon!

With a Grateful Heart

Yesterday, I visited a near by church for the first time. I had some trouble finding the church so I was really late for the sermon. I arrived toward the end of the sermon frustrated. The pastor was in the middle of telling a story about his professor at seminary school. He said he will always remember this particular professor because he always had a positive attitude and he never said anything negative about anyone. He then dived into more details about how in order for us to remain blameless, we should not blame anyone else.

It was a wake up call for me. I don't know since when, I've become so... negative. Lately, all I have been doing is complain. I am never content anymore. I am so thankful to have visited this church and even though I got lost, became frustrated, and arrived late, God spoken to me. Though, it will be hard, but I will try my hardest to have a positive outlook and to be thankful in every situation.

It's... nice to finally have my grateful heart back :)

4 years

So a few days ago on the train ride going back home, I had an epiphany:

I graduated BC almost 4 years ago
I am turning 26 this September
In another 4 years I'll be 30 years old

This realization was pretty scary. What have I done in these 4 years since graduation? Am I who I wanted to be today?

In terms of my career, without going into the details, I'm stuck at a job that I hate. Though, in this economy, I should be thankful that both Danny and I still have our jobs. I've been at this job for 3 years now, March 5th was my 3rd anniversary at the job. I am in the process of pursuing other opportunities, but nothing is set yet, it's all up in the air. The uncertainty is killing me. Even if these other opportunities work out, I'll be starting from ground zero, it's like I'm going back to being 22 all over again. I feel like a failure.

So people tend to say "oh, at least you are married". Is getting married really an accomplishment? I didn't really work hard or anything on getting married... It just so happens that I found my husband earlier than some of my other friends. I am thankful that I have found Danny and we are married. I am thankful for owning a home at a young age. I am thankful for being employed- hey it pays for the house haha. I am also thankful for having friends and families around me and of course- our two furry pups :) But none of these are things I can claim as an accomplishment... What have I accomplished? Sadly, nothing comes to mind.

I really miss the good old college days. I guess it is time to grow up.

Perfect Timing...

Danny and I have been married for a little over a year. Before we got married, I never thought about having babies. Yes, we have talked about the idea of having babies down the road, but I never "wanted" a baby. Suddenly a few months after the wedding, my feelings toward babies changed. All of the sudden I begin to notice pregnant women on the train, moms with their babies walking down the street, and I have this urge of having a baby of our own. It's quite strange really. I am afraid of babies, I don't know how to interact with them. I know it sounds really funny, but that's the truth! Babies are scary to me... and yet, I want one now.

So we have talked about the timing issue. When is the right time to have a baby? When I was younger, I had this timeline laid out for myself- I will get married by 26, have 3 children by 30. How funny eh? But of course, now that I am turning 26 this year, the idea of popping out 3 kids by 30 doesn't sound very good.

We are still newly weds (right?), and bringing a baby into the family will definitely change things. I am really happy with the way things are right now, being just the two of us. Our priorities will change when we have a baby, I don't know if I like that. The other thing is, how will we raise this child? will I be a stay home mom? How will that affect us financially?

These are the things we have to think about and plan ahead. Until then, we are happily married with our two fur babies :)